We have all seen some version of the expression above. It is a basic and recurring principle in relationships of all kinds. Let go of expectations and the need for others to be a certain way. Yet as leaders it is our job to encourage, cajole, inspire, teach, and guide others in the direction the team or organization wants to go. However, before we can do any of those, we need to build relationships with those we are leading. Perhaps we need to start that relationship between leader and those being lead in the same way – meet them where they are.
As I consider it now, it seems pretty obvious. Yet none of the early education I received on leadership mentioned it. I had to learn it the hard way and after a lot of misfires. If only I had been guided to study philosophy in my youth or in college. Yep, you heard me, philosophy. It never ceases to amaze me how human truths, are simply human truths and have always been there for us to discover and learn.
Earlier in the week I was reading some essays by the Roman philopsher and teacher, Plutarch, who wrote extensively about leadership. His context was primarily political, but the fundamentals are universal. Check out these two gems from an essay titled: THE CHARACTER OF CITIZENS AND LEADERS
“Just as wine at first is controlled by the nature of those who are drinking it, but then stealthily, by warming and mixing into the drinkers’ bodies, comes to control the drinkers’ character and to change their state, so politicians, until they have established themselves through reputation and trust as steady guides, must adapt themselves too, and work with, the existing character of the people, understanding what pleases them and how they are naturally suited to be led.”
“And so, the politician, after gaining power and trust, must then attempt to train the character of the citizens, guiding it calmly towards improvement and handling it gently, for changing the disposition of the people is difficult.”
There you have it the Roman version of “Meet people where they are” from 100 BCE. Nothing like 2,400-year-old wisdom.