It’s National Ugly Sweater Day. And I have a confession: I have an intended-to-be-fashionable Christmas sweater in my attic. And yes, I wore it un-ironically for years—even to work—before ugly sweaters became a thing.

Before you judge me, consider it was the 1990s, when fashion was often questionable and way before Colin Firth wore that infamous reindeer sweater in Bridget…