Loneliness is more deadly than smoking, and the man whose research proved it died of lung cancer. Touch starvation is not a figure of speech: oxytocin, the chemical that bonds a mother to a newborn, is released by skin on skin contact, and a society that has stopped touching each other is running short of it.
This is Part 2 of the 23 July conversation. Part 1 was about ruling out the body before you diagnose the mind. This one is about the other half of the answer: community is not a nice extra on top of treatment, it is part of the treatment.
Roger opens with two smokers. Gary Berntson was a neuropsychologist, John Cacioppo was a social psychologist, and their fields barely overlapped. They went out behind Townsend Hall by the loading dock to smoke together, started comparing their work, and that smoke break became the foundation of social neuroscience. Cacioppo went on to write the book on loneliness. He died of lung cancer.
What we cover:
- Herd animals or pack animals, and which one we are
- Oxytocin, why birth and breastfeeding release the most of it, and what skin on skin is actually doing
- Photographs from 50 and 100 years ago: people leaning on each other, arms around each other, and when that stopped
- Why loneliness is more deadly than smoking, and the research behind that claim
- Robert Putnam’s Bowling Alone, and what happened to the leagues, the lodges and the clubs
- Entrainment: why singing, rowing and marching in time with other people bonds them, and why doing it alone does not
- Chicago O’Hare, a missed flight, and what fear smells like
- The study that swabbed fear sweat, put it under other people’s noses in an fMRI, and watched their amygdalae light up
- The question Roger asks himself: who am I hanging around with?
- Why AI cannot touch you, and the two things it will never provide
Chapters
00:00 We humans need other humans
01:50 Is community part of the cure?
02:39 Herd animals or pack animals
05:03 Two smokers behind Townsend Hall
06:35 The hormones, and the one that connects us
07:33 Skin on skin
09:51 We stopped touching each other
13:44 Loneliness is more deadly than smoking
14:52 What happened to community: Bowling Alone
15:32 Entrainment, and why doing things in time together bonds people
19:42 Chicago O’Hare, and what fear smells like
21:55 They swabbed fear sweat
26:32 Who am I hanging around with?
28:18 AI cannot touch you
Second Thoughts, Episode 71. Part 2 of two, recorded 23 July 2026. Part 1 is Episode 70.
Dr. Roger Hall is a business psychologist and executive coach. He trains leaders to monitor and manage their thinking.
“Opinions expressed are not therapy or a constitute any professional relationship to anyone who watches or listens. For education and entertainment only.”
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**Opinions expressed are not therapy or a constitute any professional relationship to anyone who watches or listens. For education and entertainment only.