What does waiting for a permission slip look like? It’s keeping your ideas to yourself in a meeting because you weren’t asked to share them, or because you worry they won’t be received well. It’s expecting your boss to know that you are interested in the promotion or the stretch assignment. It’s staying quiet when the opportunity to lead a project arises because you don’t want to risk alienating your peers.
The title of this blog, “You don’t need a permission slip to be yourself,” came from the book The Midnight Library. It stays with you, doesn’t it? How much of our lives do we spend trying to fit in? Trying to be accepted?
There is something primal about this. When we lived as hunter-gatherers, our survival depended on not being ostracized by our clan. And while we remain social animals, there is no longer an imminent threat to our survival. So what feels threatening now? A boss’s disapproval? Being seen as “difficult”? Losing a promotion? Not being viewed as a team player?
I know this tension well. Early in my career, I found myself on the fast track in operations. I had a head for business and an innate ability to act as a player-coach. But I realized I could have greater impact on the organization from human resources than from operations. When I told my manager I wanted to make the move, he tried hard to convince me to “stay the path.” Recruiters were perplexed – why would I take “a big step back” to start over?
I made the move anyway. It wasn’t comfortable. But it was mine. And that made all the difference.
What would happen if you gave yourself permission to be fully yourself? What might you do differently? What is one brave move, no matter how small it may feel, that would have you show up a bit more as you?