Whether we like it or not, our first experience with leadership often came through our mothers. How she loved. How she listened. How she led through it all – stress, safety, sacrifice, and surprise. Somewhere along the way, many of us realize that learning from our mother isn’t the same as knowing for ourselves.
Learning is making mistakes. It’s slowly building confidence. Falling. Getting up. Again and again. The way we lead others is often deeply connected to how we were first led ourselves. This is why being with someone or others who can truly see us, hear us, and feel us is so sacred.
Because real transformation isn’t just information. It’s reflection. It’s being in a relationship with others where we can unlearn, relearn, and grow.
I want to share something deeply personal and probably not what many people would expect. Leadership and spirituality overlap more than we often admit. Because if leaders go first, who goes before them?
When my chosen mom passed away – yes, I had two moms, a biological one and one I chose – I read about Saint Thérèse of Lisieux. After losing her mother at a young age, Thérèse turned deeply toward the Virgin Mary for love and comfort. In her grief, she is remembered for spiritually placing herself in Mary’s care, almost as if saying, “You will be my mother now.”
So one night, I asked Mother Mary to be my mother too. I figured, “Why not?”
A few nights later, while sleeping in a different bedroom during a difficult season, I woke up to what felt like a full-body whirling sensation. Almost like standing in front of a giant fan on full blast. Honestly, it startled me.
Half awake, I saw what looked like the outline of a robe at the foot of my bed. I remember thinking: “Oh my goodness… what is this? Why would you come speak to me? I’m not Catholic.” What I heard was: “It is okay. You are okay.” Later, I told my mentor what happened and said, “I thought it was the Virgin Mary… but I’m not Catholic.”
My mentor laughed gently and said: “Mary was Jewish.” That still makes me smile.
Shortly after that, I would cry myself to sleep, praying for guidance because, despite all the books, certifications, communication tools, and relationship work… I couldn’t seem to stay in a healthy relationship that mattered so much to me. Around that same time, I kept asking for direction and pulling cards about Saint Catherine Labouré.
Saint Catherine Labouré was a young nun in France who received visions of the Virgin Mary in 1830. In one vision, Mary stood on a globe, rays of light flowing from her hands toward the earth. Some light rays reached people, and some did not.
When Catherine asked what the rays meant, Mary explained they were graces and blessings available to humanity. The rays that did not reach the earth represented the graces people forgot to ask for. Mary later instructed Catherine to create what became known as the Miraculous Medal, which many people wear as a symbol of healing, comfort, protection, and faith.
On May 23, 2024, while wearing that medal to meet my friends, I was ready to go at a green light when I heard a voice say:
“Don’t go.”
I argued internally because the light was clearly green.
Again:
“Don’t go.”
I remember thinking, “This is ridiculous. There are people behind me.”
As I slowly started moving forward, the voice came a third time with so much intensity:
“DON’T GO!”
Instantly, a car ran the red light at full speed directly through the intersection.
Had I gone when the light turned green, I would have been hit broadside.
I sat there shaking.
And all I could think was:
For whatever reason, I am meant to be here. These experiences changed something in me. Not in a “I have all the answers” kind of way. More in a: Maybe we are more loved, guided, connected, and supported than we realize. Maybe doing all that we can is enough. Maybe surrendering or at least pausing isn’t a weakness.Maybe intuition deserves more reverence. Maybe advocacy is sacred, too.
Thank you for the reminders to stop fixing, stop solving, and simply deeply listen and reflect back what people are saying. Teach me how to listen more deeply. Teach me to be more graceful – especially with myself. Light the “I am ready” torch within me. I am ready to express my gifts and talents in service to my highest good and the highest good of those around me.
Let me be a troublemaker for grace. And Mother Mary… thank you for saying yes to being our mother when we ask. Hold me close when I feel afraid, lonely, or uncertain. Wrap me in your gentleness and guide me toward peace, wisdom, and love. Teach me to trust that I am never abandoned and always connected to my highest good – even when it doesnt feel like it. Be a mother to the parts of my heart that still need comfort and healing.
Help us walk through life with grace, courage, and ease.
And so it is, and so it shall be forevermore.
P.S. I’m available to speak about the importance of women in leadership and the importance of women in business, including research, data, and lived experiences that demonstrate how good women make our companies, our communities, and the world a more peaceful and prosperous place.
The Importance of Women In Leadership https://youtu.be/Ooc1dKELyzo?si=AkmyarhyK8bKRi5r
This video describes the journeys of two women working in a male-majority environment. One woman as a coach, and the other as a director with aspirations to be a C-level executive in Finance. WHY IS HAVING GOOD WOMEN IN LEADERSHIP IMPORTANT NOW? According to the latest McKinsey Report, 1:3 of women are considering leaving or downgrading their positions due to too much stress. If women leave, it will be a challenge for organizations that want to become the best places to work and retain top talent. WHY? Women are 50% more likely to be allies at work than their male counterparts, which is vital because respondents said they are 86% more likely to recommend their org as the best place to work and 53% more likely to stay in their positions. After all, they have an ally, according to a recent Lean In Study. When companies reward feminine leadership qualities, regardless of gender, they are far more financially successful, retain top talent, and, most importantly, our world is more peaceful.
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