Mediation

By Rachel Vanni Our country has been through the wringer the last year. Self-care has been almost impossible for most people, especially those who have been struggling with the unexpected consequences of the pandemic. Workers have been laid off, parents are having to act as teachers in addition to working at home, and our normal lives have been turned upside down. To make matters worse, there is more divisiveness than ever amongst family and friends. In order to stay sane, it is crucial that we set clear boundaries on what we will and will not accept from others. Setting a…
One of the questions I used to get asked most often by my clients was whether I was married, and until recently, the answer to that had always been no, which then often their follow-up question was, are you ever going to get married? As a divorce mediator, I often see people and the worst times in their relationship. However, my answer to clients (and friends or other curious people who felt they had the right to ask) was always that I did plan on getting married and that I wasn’t in any rush. My husband and I had…
In “Money, Money, Money” ABBA sing, “I work all night, I work all day. To pay the bills I have to pay, Ain’t it sad.” In marriage, money problems can bring more misery and stress than couples ever anticipate. When you are young and first married, you expect to struggle. You know things will be difficult but you hope that with time money worries will fade. However, for many couples, finances remain a source of contention and can lead to divorce. Very few couples ever think about money or have a serious conversation about finances in the dating phase of…
The decision to get a divorce isn’t an easy one. It isn’t even a choice sometimes for one party. While getting blindsided is devastating, we will be focusing this blog on individuals that are contemplating divorce. The initiator of divorce has an impossible choice to make: do I stay and keep trying? Do I ask for a divorce? It is a common back and forth internal conversation that many of our clients have before coming in for a consultation. We understand how challenging that choice can be, so we thought we would put together a guide based on our experience…
By Jen Segura **There are spoilers here – don’t read until you have watched the series** My last movie critique has acquired so much attention; I thought I would throw out another one. Sometimes there are movies (or mini-series in this case) that are so on-point that I feel a responsibility to shed light on what went on and the lesson I believe was trying to be taught to the audience. The producer and the writers should definitely be honored for their skills. I have to assume they were at least trying to offer a little insight into what it…
By Amanda Singer As I write this, I cannot believe that Thanksgiving is already over and we’re already in December. Chanukkah, Christmas, and New Year’s are going to be here before we know it, and then this year will be over, which I know some of us are probably very excited about and hoping that 2021 is a better year. It seems like this year has both lasted forever and flown by, and the holiday season is here before we even knew it. Now 2020 already looks very different from other years for so many reasons, and your holiday plans…
The holidays are a time of tradition. Some of us put up decorations, some cook a special family dish and you listen to the same music each year. It is a comfort to expect the same things each year and allows you time to reflect on past experiences with family and friends. However, after a divorce, the memories can seem bittersweet. Taking out decorations may trigger painful memories or make you reflect on how this year is different without being married to your spouse. That is why it is crucial to embrace a few new traditions to mark a…
By David Dowling It was easier to remain married until death when people died at 50. Thanks to healthier lifestyles, visits to the gym, cutting back on bad habits, and the wonders of modern medicine, we live until we are past 90. Standing at the altar in front of family and friends, we make a commitment that binds us together in a legal and religious ceremony. For many, it is something they have always wanted to do. Find the “perfect” partner and get married. We anticipate challenges. We promise to stay together for richer, for poorer, in sickness and…
Guest Post By Syeda Neary Making the decision to end your marriage is probably one of the most difficult decisions you’ll ever make. The next step, however, keeps many of us stuck; letting our spouse know that we no longer want to be with them. Some of us want to avoid the backlash, fear the unknown, or don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings. But what if, choosing to divorce is the nicest thing you can do for your spouse, your family, and for yourself? What if, the best is yet to come? If you’re firm and clear in…
By Amanda Singer Figuring out the best time for filing for divorce in San Diego can be very subjective as every situation and couple is different, and you ultimately have to file at the time that you are ready to and feels right to you. However, that can certainly be difficult to figure out, and there are some important things to consider when deciding on filing for divorce in San Diego. First off, I would suggest thinking about whether you’ve done everything you want to do to work on your marriage and whether you feel ready to end the marriage.…