Ever listen closely to the Paul Simon song “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover”? The lyrics are a humorous breakup song about a friend giving advice on creative and simple ways to end a romantic relationship. The chorus suggests that ending a relationship doesn’t have to be complicated.

The most iconic part of the song lists playful suggestions like:

“You just slip out the back, Jack…”
“…make a new plan, Stan…”
“…don’t need to be coy, Roy…”

These lines are repeated with that catchy refrain about having “50 ways” to leave someone, emphasizing the idea of finding a way that works for you.

As I was writing this piece on ways to generate more referrals, I found myself humming the “50 ways” melody. Like leaving your lover, referrals don’t have to be complicated.

You don’t need to be coy, Roy.

Here are 11, not 50, ways to generate more and better referrals.

Know What a Referral Is
A referral is different from a contact (just a person’s name), a lead (a person that has a relationship with the referrer), and an introduction (a connection to someone through a third party for any reason). A referral is an introduction to a buyer that wants to potentially hire you. You may have different meanings for each term. The point is to be clear about what you’re asking for so others understand and can follow through.

Focus on Centers of Influence
Centers of Influence (COI) are professions that can naturally refer you because you serve the same type of clients (target market) and don’t compete.

Double Opt-In
Discuss and get permission from both parties before introducing them.

Deliver Value First
Solve a problem, share insight, invite to an event, make an introduction.

Have a Clear Target Market
When people know exactly who you help and how, they’re more likely to refer you. Especially when you’re specific about your request.

Give Referrals
Devote time to generating referrals and valuable introductions for your centers of influence, clients, and prospects if appropriate.

Show Gratitude
Say thank you, give a referral right back, get a gift, or provide a referral fee.

Don’t Be a Nightmare
Stay responsive, flexible, collaborative, and follow through quickly. Make it easy to refer you!

Create a Great Experience
Make the buying journey smooth, respectful, and enjoyable.

Offer Language
“Here’s a quick way to introduce me…” goes a long way.

Just Ask…The Right Way
“Would you be open to discussing how WE might refer each other more business?” Or “Would you be open to discussing how we might be resources for one another?” See how the focus is on WE, not just YOU? Much easier to ask, isn’t it?

Being referable isn’t just about being good at networking—it’s about being good to work with. Focus on relationships and being collaborative, and the referrals will follow.

Just make a new plan, Stan.