By Steve Fretzin & Jason Stiehl

Why relationships, not selling, are the real driver of law firm growth

If you ask most lawyers what they think about business development, you will hear the same reactions. It feels forced. It feels uncomfortable. It feels like selling, and most attorneys did not sign up for that. But what if that entire premise is wrong? What if the real path to growing a book of business is not about pitching at all, but about building genuine relationships that naturally lead to opportunity?

That is exactly what came through in my conversation with Jason Stiehl, managing partner at Crowell & Moring, and someone who has built a strong, sustainable practice over decades. His perspective reinforces what I have seen working with lawyers for years. The attorneys who win are not the ones pushing the hardest. They are the ones connecting the smartest.

The Shift From Service Lawyer to Rainmaker

One of the most important turning points in any legal career happens quietly. It is the moment when a lawyer realizes that doing great work is not enough. At some point, you need your own clients, your own relationships, and your own control over your future.

Jason described hitting that realization a few years into practice. He was doing strong work, gaining experience, and building credibility. But he began to see the limitations of relying on others for business. That is when the mindset shifted from being a service provider to becoming someone responsible for generating opportunity.

This is where many lawyers hesitate. The pressure of billable work is constant. The expectation to perform is immediate. Business development, on the other hand, takes time. It requires patience, consistency, and a long-term view that does not always align with short-term metrics.

But ignoring it is not a strategy. It is a risk.

Why Traditional “Selling” Fails Lawyers

Most lawyers approach networking with the wrong expectation. They believe they need to pitch, promote, and prove their value immediately. That approach almost always backfires.

Jason made it clear that the turning point in his success came when he stopped treating business development like a hunt. Instead of identifying targets and chasing them, he focused on getting to know people, understanding their world, and building real connections.

That shift changes everything.

People do not hire lawyers because of a perfect pitch. They hire lawyers they trust. Trust is built through conversation, shared experiences, and consistency over time. It is built by listening more than talking and by showing genuine interest in others.

When you remove the pressure to sell, you create space for relationships to develop naturally. And when relationships are strong, business follows.

The Role of Trust, Honesty, and Long-Term Thinking

One of the most overlooked strategies in legal business development is honesty. Not just honesty in conversation, but honesty in how you position yourself in the market.

Jason shared a simple but powerful approach. If he is not the best fit for a matter, he says so. If another firm can serve the client better, he recommends them. That level of transparency builds credibility in a way that no sales pitch ever could.

It also reflects a long-term mindset.

Too many lawyers focus on immediate wins. They want the engagement now, the revenue now, the result now. But the lawyers who build lasting books of business understand that relationships compound over time. A referral given today can lead to ten opportunities in the future.

This is how sustainable growth actually works.

Consistency Is the Real Differentiator

There is a misconception that successful rainmakers have some unique talent or personality trait that others do not. In reality, the biggest difference is consistency.

Jason emphasized that relationships require ongoing attention. A single meeting is not enough. A follow-up email is not enough. Staying top of mind requires a system, whether that is regular check-ins, sharing useful information, or simply maintaining a presence in someone’s world.

This is where most lawyers fall short.

They either go too broad, trying to stay in touch with everyone, or they go silent, disappearing for months at a time. Neither approach works. The key is prioritization. Focus on the people who matter most and invest in those relationships consistently.

Over time, that effort compounds into trust, familiarity, and opportunity.

Business Development and Content Marketing Must Work Together

Another critical insight from the conversation is the growing importance of combining relationship building with content marketing.

In today’s environment, being good at what you do is not enough. People need to see it. They need to understand it. They need to recognize your expertise before they ever pick up the phone.

Jason pointed out that content does not have to be excessive or self-promotional. It simply needs to be thoughtful, relevant, and consistent. Sharing insights, experiences, and perspectives helps people understand who you are, how you think, and what you bring to the table.

This is where many lawyers hesitate. They worry about being too visible or saying the wrong thing. But the bigger risk is being invisible.

When business development and content marketing work together, they reinforce each other. Relationships create opportunities for content. Content keeps you top of mind within those relationships.

Jason Stiehl’s Biggest Mistake and the Turning Point

Jason was candid about a major mistake that shaped his career. He left a firm for reasons that, in hindsight, were not grounded in the right priorities. The move cost him clients, stability, and momentum.

At the time, it felt like a step forward. In reality, it exposed gaps in his understanding of firm culture, platform strength, and long-term positioning.

That experience forced him to reevaluate everything.

He gained a deeper understanding of how law firms operate, how reputation impacts opportunity, and how important it is to align with the right environment. Most importantly, he recognized that success is not just about individual effort. It is also about the platform that supports it.

The lesson is direct. Do your homework. Understand the ecosystem you are stepping into. And never assume that a change automatically equals progress.

About Jason Stiehl

Jason Stiehl is the office managing partner at Crowell & Moring, where he focuses on class action litigation and corporate counseling. With more than 25 years of experience, he has built a reputation for handling complex matters while developing strong, trust-based relationships with clients. His practice also includes advising companies on trade secrets, restrictive covenants, and corporate risk management.

Connect with Jason Stiehl:   

Website: https://www.crowell.com/en/professionals/jason-stiehl
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jason-stiehl-22a82b4/ 

The Real Path to Sustainable Growth for Lawyers

If there is one takeaway from this conversation, it is this. Business development is not about selling. It is about relationships, consistency, and trust.

The lawyers who succeed are not the loudest or the most aggressive. They are the most reliable. They are the most thoughtful. They are the ones who show up consistently and invest in people over time.

This approach is not fast. It is not flashy. But it works.

And more importantly, it creates a practice that is not dependent on chance or circumstance. It creates a practice built on real connections, real trust, and real opportunity.

Ready to Build Your Book of Business the Right Way?

If you are ready to grow your practice without pitching, chasing, or guessing, it is time to take a more strategic approach.

Visit https://fretzin.com/ to explore coaching, training, and BE THAT LAWYER programs designed to help attorneys become confident, organized, and skilled rainmakers.

You can also schedule a strategy session to identify where you are, where you want to go, and how to build a system that actually works.

Connect with Steve Fretzin:

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